January 2012
13 posts
I’m reminded of how different we are both wired. And it’s frustrating; I wish you would understand how I feel, but you can’t. So I’m left standing here once again, feeling like the biggest fool on earth.
In my head are puzzles, and I need to solve them. I just want answers. I need everything to fall into place and make sense.
But you always leave me in pieces.
I wanna be as happy as the sun.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive...”
– Martin Luther King, Jr. (via d-roth)
One day I’ll put up a sign that reads:
Finding myself. Do not disturb.
I can’t stop being angry.
I don’t want to be.
But I’m so, so, so, SO angry.
How is it even humanly possible to harbour such resentment?
What have you, done to me?
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays...”
– Bill Vaughan
December 2011
10 posts
Dear me
I just thought you should know that you won’t be okay for a long while.
It’ll be a long, drawn-out affair; your heart’s not going easy on you, I’m afraid.
Now I know you won’t give up before putting up a good fight. I just don’t know when you will deliver the final thrust. Steady feet, gloves on. I need you to fight on. I know I’ve lost you a little...
Questions and answers
It’s Christmas.
I’m sitting here wondering.
And that’s about all I can do.
To me, this is life.
The anti social media person in me likes this
via Adweek
Now and _________,
I have no other aim than to be completely at peace with myself. For my heart to finally be in mutual agreement with the mind.
The nights I stayed up thinking I just don’t have it in me to start a new day, fearing that I will never succeed, fearing that I will never get over you, fearing that my life will be choked full of regrets, fearing that I can never meet up to anyone’s...
“Instead of spending our lives running towards our dreams, we are often running...”
– Eric Wright (via misswallflower)
November 2011
11 posts
I don’t know how many people read this. Not too many, I hope. But I need to be completely honest. And I don’t really want to talk and write to myself.
So here it goes.
It seems like I can’t stop screwing up my life. There are so many times I’ve felt like I’ve tried so damn hard, and then failed. And today is a reminder of all the things I’ve worked hard...
Memories and fear
We keep walking, only to wonder if forgetting will actually make us happier.
Short letter
I’m fickle-minded.
I know.
I’m quick to anger.
I can be confrontational at times.
I’m irrational.
I’m also soft. Very soft.
And you may mean well, but I can’t deal with being lied to.
I just thought I would be worth honesty…at the very least.
And after a long time the boy came back again.
“I am sorry, Boy,” said the tree
“but I have nothing left to give you——” “My apples are gone.”
“My teeth are too weak for apples,” said the boy.
“My branches are gone,” said the tree. “You cannot swing on them———”
“I am too old to swing...
I know you guys are worried for me.
To be honest, I’m really worried for myself too.
October 2011
19 posts
Happiness index
Alright. Got to stop mucking (i.e Fiddling with Photoshop) around.
“What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be...”
– Jeanette Winterson (via misswallflower)
But you
Forgot all that I’ve done. Left me in the dirt. Chose not to give a shit. Throw token words and flippant promises. Merely entertain, never planning to stay. Just take that I’m always here. Keep hurting knowing that I’m hurt.
But when all is said and done, you still won’t care. ‘Cause you’re happy. And that’s all it matters.
“What you don’t know can’t hurt you.”
What happened and where did it go?
There is something so wrong in the world today, don’t you think? Just read the first few pages of the papers if you’re still not convinced.
You know I don’t deserve any of this.
…I can’t even put into words how much of a jackass you are.
"It's all about people."
It’s all about people, He said.
See, even that little advertisement that you do now has to have a human connection.
Let me never forget this.
4 tags
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap...”
Hide me
The good news is, I’m writing more and reading less status updates (and newsfeed stories and photos and wall posts).
The bad news is, when I do read them I fall apart all over again. What the hell is wrong with me?