This is...nowhere.

Copywriter by day. Moonlights as dreamer and internet hoarder.

Roll, and roll, and roll

Love right now, is a soft glow. It’s warm as a cocoon but doesn’t go overboard. It doesn’t smoke up or tear me apart. It pulls me further with each passing day from those pleadings by the windowsill. Love gently laps at me. Unlike yesteryears’ waves – majestic from a distance but chilling and desperately lonely at the core. Today makes me wanna build a boat and sail into the sun and its brilliant forgetfulness. 

And when the cloud finally lifted over me, I realise I had actually been in love with sadness much longer than I was with a person. 

I don’t want to be little again. But at the same time I do. I want to be me like I was then, and me as I am now, and me like I’ll be in the future. I want to be me and nothing but me. I want to be crazy as the moon, wild as the wind and still as the earth. I want to be every single thing it’s possible to be. I’m growing and I don’t know how to grow. I’m living but I haven’t started living yet. Sometimes I simply disappear from myself. Sometimes it’s like I’m not here in the world at all and I simply don’t exist. Sometimes I can hardly think.

David Almond (via misswallflower)

I don’t want to be little again. But at the same time I do. I want to be me like I was then, and me as I am now, and me like I’ll be in the future. I want to be me and nothing but me. I want to be crazy as the moon, wild as the wind and still as the earth. I want to be every single thing it’s possible to be. I’m growing and I don’t know how to grow. I’m living but I haven’t started living yet. Sometimes I simply disappear from myself. Sometimes it’s like I’m not here in the world at all and I simply don’t exist. Sometimes I can hardly think.

David Almond (via misswallflower)

Don’t get your head up in the clouds for too long my child.
The sky is too vast.
It’s dangerous up there.
It’s freezing cold.
I bet it’s misty as well.
Yes, it’s more comfortable on the ground. That’s where everyone is anyway.

So come on down my child.

Recently I’ve been thinking about leaving advertising.

Dreaming about life

I’ve always enjoyed the soft side of life. The moment where light seeps through the curtains, awakening me to another day. Gazing in silence at alpine-like trees and appreciating the rare sight of nature in the place I live. Gentle lapping waves that never fail to comfort me.

I love those bicycles with white baskets even though I can’t cycle. And I dream of wearing long knitted sweaters and sipping a cup of coffee while fanning off the heat.

I romance life for what it can be. And I just hope one day I’ll be able to live it.

I wrote a story, but I lost the sheets of paper and it was no more. It disoriented me, for I was waiting to write a sequel but there was none but my memories left.

I had a good brunch. I got home. I thought of the amount of work I needed to complete and freaked out inside. I took a quick shower and dinner. Lost my temper a little and got angry at myself for losing my temper. I went into my room with the intention of coming up with ideas for work. I felt quietly desperate. Desperate for what? I realised I was no longer just stressed out but upset with myself. For whatever reasons, none of which even makes logical sense.

And I’m lying here, feeling like I’m in a constant routine of winding and unwinding myself with a spool of twine and in a complete mess. Not because I made a HUGE mistake, but because humans are really adept at making things complicated for themselves, and they don’t really understand themselves very much at all. At least that’s how I feel right now.

Which is why I need to end my day now and just, talk to God in the dark, I guess.

Times like these I wonder why humans would have anything to be proud of.